back word front word side word

we get back from a really nice hammy dinner (not cheesey, but you know, with lots of nice ham and nice dijon) with pony’s family and decide to put on the record we just got in the mail. dan melchior’s the backward path spun around and we distractedly took it in. even as I type this, I’ve only heard it through once and not in an intense, dark-listening sort of way; I perused the internet and pony read his poli-sci stuff. we knew, putting it on, that it would probably be heavy in some way or another, being an album made in the time of dan’s wife letha’s struggling with cancer (the funds from the sale of this album going toward her treatment).

it’s not hard for me to admit I have an audio-crush on melchior, with his weirdo bluesy, say-it-like-it-is tunes, but it died tonight, succumbing to ghoul-schoolishness. Letha also (also, because I also do this) does a lot of the art/design for his musicality. while I know pony and I aren’t on the same level (we kind of are, just in a less famous, and obviously less married sort of way),  how could I not extend that part of myself? I can’t possibly conceive of the sort of strength and amazing on-goingness needed to make it through that medical ride. and not just with your lover, but the person you make things with! for anyone reading who hasn’t had some sort of relationship with someone, be it romantic or platonic, where you make things (music, art, food, furniture, whatever), and your making of things is how you understand and cope with the world. it’s how you take on life, piling all the things on your plate and always finding room for more.  To imagine having some part of that snuffed out, is in a way I literally cannot find words to describe. I could really go on about this… but also know that I’m not saying creative people have it better or worse, but that it’s what I know, so I feel it a little deeper than … well… a little deeper….

we talked about what we thought of the album itself on the first listen. and we both felt in need of something uplifting, so róny rightly went for our super splashy limited edition (yep, totally bragging) zammuto album.

as he was putting in on, I felt compelled to google letha, I had to see her face… I needed to see her in the heart breaking article I had just over-the-shoulder read.  I could only find one photo… and I’m not 100% it’s her, but I think it is.

with zammuto on, I continued on the google train to zammuto’s blog, which I have to say, is awesome and everything I’d like mine to be. the candidness, the intimacy, the openness! my god! the photos of his home and family and everything else are so inspiring. I absolutely took refuge in the beauty of his homelife and the obvious adoration he has for his wife and kids, and theirs for him. I fucking revel in it, like pooh bear in the honey tree. yum yum

so there’s my funny monday night: the sad and wonderful and gorgeous complexities of family. after all the delving into other people’s lives (mind you, they put themselves out there for me to dunt around in) I look across the room at the one who makes my making-of-things so worth-while, and I can’t help but get a little choked up wondering what sort of art-storming we’ll get up to this year. I’m so, so lucky. and so feverishly grateful.